Living with Bipolar two disorder
Diagnosis and Initial Symptoms
In January of 2023, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 disorder after a prolonged period of unsettling symptoms. These included intense mood swings, irritability, episodes of heavy depression, impulsivity in relationships, changing my hair color multiple times a month, and impulse spending. I also exhibited traits similar to manic episodes, such as being hyper-productive with certain tasks. The diagnosis was a turning point, bringing a sense of relief as it confirmed that I wasn't losing my mind; there was a name for what I was experiencing.
The Challenge of Diagnosis
Getting to this diagnosis wasn't straightforward due to overlapping conditions. Alongside Bipolar 2, I also have ADHD and PMDD, both of which can exhibit similar traits. Differentiating between these disorders was challenging, but having a comprehensive diagnosis has been crucial in understanding my mental health.
Treatment and Therapy
Finding the right treatment has been a journey. I have tried various mood stabilizers to manage my symptoms but am still searching for one that fully works for me. Therapy has been a cornerstone of my treatment plan. I have been in therapy for five years, and my therapist has played an instrumental role in helping me identify when I am experiencing manic or depressive episodes. This awareness has been invaluable in managing my disorder.
Living with Bipolar 2
Living with Bipolar 2 disorder is exhausting. I often find myself swinging between mania and depression, rarely feeling stable. This constant state of flux is draining, making it hard to maintain a sense of normalcy in daily life. Despite the challenges, I am not ashamed of living with this disorder. There is a lot of stigma and negative opinions towards those with Bipolar disorder, but I choose to confront it with openness and resilience.
Impact on Relationships
One of the most challenging aspects of Bipolar 2 disorder is its impact on my relationships, both romantic and platonic. The erratic nature of my mood swings and the intensity of my depressive episodes can be trying for those in my life. I have dealt with a lot of guilt towards those it has affected, recognizing the strain it can place on relationships. However, understanding and support from loved ones have been a beacon of hope.
Conclusion
Living with Bipolar 2 disorder is an ongoing battle. It involves navigating a complex web of emotions, treatments, and interpersonal challenges. Despite the exhaustion and the guilt, I remain hopeful. With the right support, treatment, and awareness, it is possible to manage this disorder and live a fulfilling life. My journey with Bipolar 2 is a testament to resilience, and I hope sharing my story helps others feel less alone in their struggles.