Body Dysmorphia

In a world dominated by societal expectations of beauty, body dysmorphia remains a silent struggle for many individuals. My personal journey with body dysmorphia began from an early age when I weighed under 100 pounds throughout my life. However, it wasn't until the age of 22, when I started taking antidepressants, that I experienced a significant transformation both physically and mentally. This journey of navigating a second puberty, which no one talks about, left me feeling lost and disconnected from the person I once knew. I gained over 70 pounds and completely spiraled. In this blog, I want to share my story of battling body dysmorphia, how it has impacted my mental health, and the steps I took to find positivity and self-love despite the challenges.

The Second Puberty: An Unspoken Journey

Growing up, my body remained largely unchanged, and I became accustomed to its appearance. However, when I started taking antidepressants for my diagnosed panic disorder, I went through a second puberty that completely transformed my body type. My once familiar silhouette was altered, and I no longer recognized myself in the mirror. This unexpected shift not only took a toll on my physical self but also significantly affected my mental well-being.

The Toll on Mental Health:

Body dysmorphia, coupled with depression and anxiety, became an overwhelming burden to bear. The constant negative thoughts about my appearance spiraled my existing mental health struggles, pushing me into a deep pit of self-doubt and self-loathing. I found myself avoiding social situations, covering up, and constantly comparing myself to others. The internal dialogue was harsh, unforgiving, and relentless.

Seeking Positivity Amidst the Turmoil:

In the midst of this painful journey, I realized that I needed to find a way to heal and love myself, despite the changes my body was going through. It was not an easy path, but I resolved to discover positive components of myself amidst the chaos. Here are some steps that helped me and might aid others facing similar challenges:

  1. Seek Professional Support: You can reach out to a therapist who specializes in body dysmorphia and mental health. Having an empathetic and understanding professional by your side can make a significant difference in the healing process.

  2. Practice Self-Compassion: I learned to be kinder to myself, acknowledging that change is a natural part of life, and it's okay to feel vulnerable during these transformations. Treating myself with the same compassion I would offer a friend allowed me to create a safer space for self-acceptance.

  3. Shift Focus from Appearance to Strengths: Instead of solely focusing on my physical appearance, I began recognizing and nurturing my strengths and passions. Engaging in activities that brought me joy boosted my self-esteem and shifted my perspective towards a more positive outlook.

  4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People: I sought out friends and family who were understanding and empathetic. Surrounding myself with people who uplifted and supported me during challenging times made a world of difference.

Conclusion:

The journey through body dysmorphia and the unspoken second puberty is a challenging one, impacting mental health and self-perception. It took time, effort, and unwavering determination to find positivity and self-love amidst the turmoil. Remember, you are not alone in this struggle. Seeking professional help, practicing self-compassion, focusing on your strengths, and surrounding yourself with supportive people can make a significant difference in your healing journey.

Remember, you are worthy of love and acceptance, no matter what changes your body goes through. Embrace the journey, be patient with yourself, and know that with time and empathy, you can overcome body dysmorphia and find the inner strength to love yourself wholeheartedly. You are beautiful, unique, and deserving of all the love and kindness in the world.

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Living with Panic Disorder

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The Process of Letting Go